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| Hi my name is Jillian. I am in no way a writer... I am actually very shy about writing on my blog. The reason I come on xanga is for the sense of community and to meet very talented and articulate writers, who inspire me to respond and start on a mission to better educate myself or to show more compassion to my fellow xangan/human being. I enjoy xanga for the community in the sense that I feel like I am living on an online neighborhood where right to my left there is a friendly xangan that I can get into a conversation about the social/moral contract, philosophy, politics, economics, or a number of other interesting topics.
I have only been back on xanga for a day or two but I feel thoroughly inspired and challenged to read, grow, and to reach out to new people.
Actually the reason why I came back on xanga was because of my friend an aspiring journalist (http://themixedmind.com) who is in the midst of building up her own blog empire. I came on here to see what makes certain bloggers popular and what are interesting, challenging subjects to talk about. I also wanted to see how other writers challenge themselves creatively. There are so many resources available to increase your mental and creative acuity. The thing I would like to work on this summer is:
1.) My ability to think critically
I plan to work on this by reading books about philosophy namely Philosophy for Dummies, lol. As well to read summary of the various philosophical schools (strengths and criticisms) as well as history of political movements. Most importantly to sharpen my skills have lots and lots of conversations... the only way to think critically is to have open discussion, exchange points of view, and justify/defend your own point of view as well as to change your point of view. | | |
| [To someone who I used to care for]"For making you suffer through my rants and raves I know you will only skim through with it so it's a lot safer here than on a blog. I have recently become addicted to xanga and I have found a new home where people like me and think that my writing is mature and articulate. There is a weird feeling in me I need to push myself further and this craving for acceptance and praise... that I am a worthwhile person."
I used to desperately crave this person's time and attention but now as the first month has come to an end I do not need them anymore. The person who shunned but craved me could not give me what I wanted. He was never really real but a figment of my imagination. The person who I cared for deeply could not see me for who I was but what I could do for him. I think that whether I was sensitive or taunting and vindictive he suffered. We shared some moments of intimacy that were lost in our own world of inadequacies and insecurities. Neither could bend to the other's will and only looked to make each other suffer because we did not live to our ideals.
The person I was when I first met him was still shy, vulnerable, and naive. The person I have become today is strong, passionate, bold, and full of life. I am not so timid around strangers as I once was I feel more at ease around new faces. I am no longer in a state of apprehension. My breathing is no longer shallow but controlled breaths that are long and deep filled with confidence. I am in control it is no longer a frenzy of quick breaths a struggle to survive and to stay aware. I no longer feel a sharp piercing pain in my back as I enter a room and my thoughts don't race. Today I feel determined to accomplish my goals to make the person I am today and the person who I will be a better person and to make the environment I live in a better place for those who come after me.
I will not look to others to make me feel whole or to make me feel beautiful. The old me was so insecure and needed constant attention to assuage the apprehension. I will not look to my past for nostalgia and a better time. The better time is here and now... it is what I make of it. I will not let today or this minute pass me by. I love who I am and I will not allow others to hurt or disrespect me. My feelings and opinions matter if not anyone but myself.
I will no longer feel the urge to apologize for being a dissenter. I hate confrontation but I am not afraid of it. My kindness and my empathy for others allows me to see from different point of views. I am malleable and open to new philosophies, experiences, and opinions. I try to put others for myself but I will not forget that I matter too. | | |
| [Thought this was interesting so I decided to post it. Too tired to write comments will come later.]
Lake Superior State University 2009 List of Banished Words
Original Article
Lake Superior State University "maverick" word-watchers, fresh from the holiday "staycation" but without an economic "bailout" even after a "desperate search," have issued their 34th annual List of Words to Be Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness. This year's list may be more "green" than any of the previous lists and includes words and phrases that people from "Wall Street to Main Street" say they love "not so much" and wish to have erased from their "carbon footprint."
Environmental buzzwords are getting the axe this year. "Green" and "going green" received the most nominations.
GREEN – The ubiquitous 'Green' and all of its variables, such as 'going green,' 'building green,' 'greening,' 'green technology,' 'green solutions' and more, drew the most attention from those who sent in nominations this year.
[Chronically overused for a good cause! It is important that we take responsibility for our actions. However, I think we should admit that its not to save the Earth it's to save ourselves and future generations. I do not believe that our actons could kill a planet... but it could kill us and a number of other species!]
"This phrase makes me go green every time I hear it." Danielle Brunin, Lawrence, Kansas.
"I'm all for being environmentally responsible, but this 'green' needs to be nipped in the bud." Valerie Gilson, Gales Ferry, Conn.
"Companies are less 'green' than ever, advertising the fact they are 'green.' Is anyone buying this nonsense?" Mark Etchason, Denver, Colo. [Do homework on your products it is important not only to "save" the plant but it is healthier for you.]
"If something is good for the environment, just say so. As Kermit would say, 'It isn't easy being green.'" Kevin Sherlock, Hiawatha, Iowa.
"If I see one more corporation declare itself 'green,' I'm going to start burning tires in my backyard." Ed Hardiman, Bristow, Va.
"This spawned 'green solutions,' 'green technology,' and the horrible use of the word as a verb, as in, 'We really need to think about greening our office.'" Mike McDermott, Philadelphia, Penn.
CARBON FOOTPRINT or CARBON OFFSETTING – "It is now considered fashionable for everyone, tree hugger or lumberjack alike, to pay money to questionable companies to 'offset' their own 'carbon footprint.' What a scam! Get rid of it immediately!" Ginger Hunt, London, England.
Mike of Chicago says that when he hears the phrase 'carbon footprint,' "I envision microscopic impressions on the surface of the earth where an atom of carbon forgot to wear its shoes."
Christy Loop of Woodbridge, Va., says that 'leaving a carbon footprint' has become the new 'politically incorrect.' "How can we not, in one way or another, affect our natural environment?"
Presidential election years are always ripe for language abuse. This year, the electorate grew weary of 'mavericks' and 'super delegates.' As Michael W. Casby of Haslett, Mich. said, when he suggested banning all of the candidates' names, "Come on, it's been another too-long campaign season."
MAVERICK – "The constant repetition of this word for months before the US election diluted whatever meaning it previously had. Even the comic offshoot 'mavericky' was terribly overused. A minimum five-year banishment of both words is suggested so they will not be available during the next federal election." Matthew Mattila, Green Bay, Wisc. [who would want to? It didn't help McCain win the election!]
"You know it's time to banish this word when even the Maverick family, who descended from the rancher who inspired the term, says it's being mis-used." Scott Urbanowski, Kentwood, Mich.
"I'm a maverick, he's a maverick, wouldn't you like to be a maverick, too?" Michael Burke, Silver Spring, Md. [It meant no one likes me and I can't save the economy because even Republican's don't like me!]
FIRST DUDE – "Skateboard English is not an appropriate way to refer to the spouse of a high-ranking public official." Paul Ruschmann, Canton, Mich.
Of course, the economy couldn't escape the list this year.
BAILOUT – "Use of emergency funds to remove toxic assets from banks' balance sheets is not a bailout. When your cousin calls you from jail in the middle of the night, he wants a bailout." Ben Green, State College, Penn.
"Is it a loan? Is it a purchase of assets by the government? Is it a gift made by the taxpayers?" Dave Gill, Traverse City, Mich.
"Now it seems as though every sector of the economy wants a bailout. Unfortunately, ordinary workers can't qualify." Tony, McLeansville, NC.
"Don't we love how Capitol Hill will bailout Wall Street, but not Main Street"? Derrick Chamberlain, Midland, Mich.
Speaking of Wall Street and Main Street…
WALL STREET/MAIN STREET – "When this little dyad first came into use at the start of the financial crisis, I thought it was a clever use of parallelism. But it's simply over-used. No 'serious' discussion of the crisis can take place without some political figure lamenting the fact that the trouble on Wall Street is affecting 'folks' on Main Street." Charles Harrison, Aiken, SC.
"The recent and continuing financial failings are not limited to 'Wall Street,' nor should one paint business, consumers, and small investors as ' Main Street .' Topeka (where I work), and Lawrence (where I live), Kansas, have no named ' Main Street .' How tiresome." Kent McAnally, Topeka, KS. "I am so tired of hearing about everything affecting ' Main Street .' I know that with the 'Wall Street' collapse, the comparison is convenient, but really, let's find another way to talk about everyman or the middle class, or even, heaven forbid, 'Joe the Plumber.'" Stacey, Knoxville, Tenn.
Internet and texting blues -MONKEY – "Especially on the Internet, many people seem to think they can make any boring name sound more attractive just by adding the word 'monkey' to it. Do a search to find the latest. It is no longer funny." Rogier Landman, Somerville, Mass.
<3 – Supposed to resemble a heart, or stand for the word 'love.' Used when sending those important text messages to loved ones. "Just say the word instead of making me turn my head sideways and wondering what 'less than three' means." Andrea Estrada, Chicago.
Overuse in news and entertainment
ICON or ICONIC – Overused, especially among entertainers and in entertainment news, according to Robyn Yates of Dallas, who says that "every actor, actress and entertainment magazine show overuses this." One of the most-nominated words of the year. "Everyone and everything cannot be 'iconic.' Can't we switch to 'legendary' or 'famous for'? In our entertainment-driven culture, it seems everyone in show business is 'iconic' for some reason or another. "John Flood, Bray, Wicklow, Ireland. "It's becoming the new 'awesome' - overused to the point where everything from a fast-food restaurant chain to celebrities is 'iconic.'" Jodi Gill, New Berlin, Wisc. "Just because a writer recognizes something does not make it an icon (a visual symbol or representation which inspires worship or veneration) or iconic. It just means that the writer has seen it before." Brian Murphy, Fairfield, Conn.
GAME CHANGER – "It's game OVER for this cliché, which gets overused in the news media, political arenas and in business." Cynthia, Mt. Pleasant, Mich.
STAYCATION – "Occurrences of this word are going up with gas prices.'Vacation' does not mean 'travel,' nor does travel always involve vacation. Let's send this word on a slow boat to nowhere." Dan Muldoon, Omaha, Neb.
"The cost of petrol forces many families to curtail their summer voyages and a new word has sprung, idiotic and rootless..." Michele Mooney, Los Angeles, Calif.
DESPERATE SEARCH – "Every time the news can't find something intelligent to report, they start on a 'desperate search' for someone, somewhere." Rick A. Hyatt, Saratoga, Wyo.
NOT SO MUCH – "I wish that the phrase was used not so much," says Tom Benson of Milwaukee, who notes that it is used widely in news media, especially in sports, i.e. 'The Gophers have a shot at the playoffs; the Chipmunks, not so much.' "Casual language usage is acceptable. 'Not so much?' Not so much." David Hollis, Hubbardsville, NY. "Do I like concise writing? Yes. Do I like verbose clichés? Not so much." David W. Downing, St. Paul, Minn. "A favorite of snarky critics and bloggers." Jeff Baenen, Minneapolis, Minn.
WINNER OF FIVE NOMINATIONS – "It hasn't won an Academy Award yet. It has only been NOMINATED!" John Bohenek, Abilene, Tex.
IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN – Nominated by Kathleen Brosemer of Sault Ste. Marie, Ont., for "general overuse and meaninglessness. When is it not 'that time of year again?' From Valentine's sales to year-end charity letters, invitations to summer picnics and Christmas parties, it's 'that time' of year again. Just get to the point of the solicitation, invitation, and newsletter and cut out six useless and annoying words." | | |
| Virginity Pledges
A recent study found that teens that make virginity pledges are just as likely to have sex as teens that don't make the pledges. They are also less likely to practice safe sex.
The study actually compared "those who had taken a virginity pledge with similar teens who hadn't taken a pledge but were likely to delay having sex" but "didn't include teens who were unlikely to take a pledge" Here is the link: Link
The study found "Virginity pledgers and similar non-pledgers don't differ in the rates of vaginal, oral or anal sex or any other sexual behavior. Strikingly, pledgers are less likely than similar non-pledgers to use condoms and also less likely to use any form of birth control."
Do you think virginity pledges are ineffective?
Virginity Pledges Post written by Theologians Cafe
My Reaction:@IXOYE_AD - I read this comment and I had to stop and reply. The way you phrased your comment was quite insulting. I do not know if you meant it to come out that way. But to say that someone who is sexually active has no respect for themselves. This again a perception of the individual because there are a number of ways that one can be "self-destructive" and be considered to have "no respect" for themselves such as cutting and drug abuse (destroying one's body).
However in your argument you state that sexuality has a place and a time. You want to make a commitment to your partner- and to share all of yourself with one person. This is admirable but it does not make it any better or worse than another's choice to be sexually active. Humans can be no better or worse than anyone else granted we all have our strengths and weaknesses but that makes us unique. However, to say that one is better in a particular field does not make them superior or inferior to anyone else.
Sexuality can be driven by hedonism (heat of the moment; hormones) but can also be driven by a longing to be closer to your partner (whether you are married or not). I think one can have respect for themselves when they are acting to build up their self esteem and take care of themselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually(in tune with oneself, have a purpose[does not mean be christian]). I agree that friends with benefits can be very destructive to one's self esteem but to be in a closed, long term, unmarried relationship can still be beneficial.
I think that marriage is a big step and that you really need to know that person on every level including their sexuality. Sex really does change how you relate to one another. Also, I think a lot of individuals fall in love with an idea of the person at the time but as they change a partner can become dillusioned leading to an unhappy marriage(can be mutually destructive).
It is interesting because in different religions sexuality is considered a sacred act in which one can commune with God. I recommend you read the Da Vinci Code. Also, in Judaism when two married individuals have sex it is a celebration and communication with God.
@Garistotle - I agree it really depends on your definition of abstinence that can lead you into that kind of situation i.e. kissing and outercourse. It is really interesting because I found out in my human sexuality class any form of sexual contact means not being abstinent. I never knew that I always assumed it was abstaining from oral, anal, and vaginal intercourse.
I think abstinence is an important part of sexual education, but should not be the only facet of the curriculum. Anyone can choose to be abstinent even after losing their virginity. I think that it may relieve some pressure to be sexually involved. A lot of teens feel pressured and feel to be a part of the group that have to be sexually active too but in high school there is a higher proportion of teens, who are still not sexually active.
The reason why abstinence pledges may cause teens to not use contraceptives is they are taught that having a contraceptive is considering actually having sex. That is the reason why the Catholic Church does not condone condoms and why many parents do not want their children exposed to sex ed. If they talk about it will make them (teens) want to have sex.
Many abstinence programs look to discourage teens from having sex by giving faulty failure rates saying condoms break "30% of the time." That is rediculous if you use condoms correctly and consistently they are 97% effective but abstinence (abstaining from anal, oral, and vaginal intercourse) is the best method!
@Kristenmomof3 - I understand fully a lot of individuals including President Clinton believe oral sex is not sexual contact. Many people construct this theory of abstinence because you cannot get pregnant. However you can get an STD- also from kissing is that amazing?
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